Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

I would be lying if I said that I was sad about closing out 2012.  

2012 was a hard year for me.  It was challenging work wise, parenting wise, and family wise.  I had hoped that this year I would find the ability to balance it all.  To get it all done.  To be the perfect wife, mother, daughter and friend.  I didn't.  

I did however, learn a lot about myself.  I learned that:

-I am stronger than I think but that sometimes I need to be more vulnerable than I would like to be

-Sometimes you have to hit bottom before you can begin the journey upward again

-Loving is sometimes letting go and watching mistakes be made

-Sometimes it is best to be quiet rather than speak

-Very often I talk the talk, without walking the walk  

And so I enter 2013.  A year older, a year wiser.

Overcome

Two weeks ago the notice came home, the same notice that has come home before for my other two children.  Chorus tryouts.  We have weathered one child trying out twice and not making it either time and another child deciding not to try out at all (which might have been a good thing).

I was surprised when Maddie seemed to give the idea some consideration.  While she doesn't mind singing and has a pretty voice, she definitely does not like to call attention to herself and the tryouts seemed to be a bit out of her comfort zone.

I, of course, worried.  What is she didn't make it?  What is she was scared?  I think many times I have almost discouraged the girls from doing difficult things that might cause them pain because I don't want them to be hurt.  The reality is thought that my job in life is not to minimize every bit of pain for the girls.  It is to teach them that life isn't always easy and that beauty isn't necessarily found in those things that are easily gained but in those things that are difficult.

And so I encouraged her to try out.  I filled out the paperwork and sent it in for her.  When she wavered in her decision I encouraged her to go through with it.

The day of the tryouts I left for work in the morning and gave my girl a hug and reminded her of the verse that we gave her when she was baptized, "Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9.

And......   she did it.  She admitted that it wasn't easy and that she even got so overwhelmed at being in the spotlight that she cried.   But she started over and finished it.  We haven't found out if she made it or not and frankly, I could care less. What I do care about is that she did it, she followed through and didn't let her fear overcome her desire to do something.  It's not in the achievement itself but in the striving to achieve.

School Days 2012-2013

The summer flew by much too quickly for either the girls liking or my liking.  It's hard to believe that summer is over (even though it technically is not over for another month).  The girls are in 4th, 7th and 9th grade this year which I find completely unbelievable.

Just yesterday I was saying that they were 3, 6, and 9 years old and now they are double that plus a few.

Our schedule is a bit different this year.  Maddie and Destiny will leave for the bus at the same time around 7:15 and they get on about 5 minutes apart for the elementary and high school bus.

Abby's schedule remained the same as last year.  She needs to leave at 8:25 to catch the middle school bus.  We were not sure what to do with Abby.  Abby hates being alone at home and it was always fine before this year because she had Destiny at home.  Abby had the option of going to the neighbors but that had three kids getting ready to leave before 7:15 and Abby at the neighbors house which while okay, was not ideal.  Abby and the neighbor girl do well together in very, very small amounts but every day I knew would strain the relationship.  We were up to the first day of school with no answers and then.....

One of Abby's very best friends from Elementary School has a mother who is a teacher in a high school close to us and had sent her daughter for 6th grade to the middle school closest to that high school.  Her daughter didn't have a good year and so this year she switched her to Abby's middle school.  Every morning she drops her off at our house just after Destiny and Maddie leave and the two of them eat breakfast together and get ready to together and leave together.  The perfect answer to prayer.

The first few days have gone well.  Destiny was a bit nervous those first few days as she navigated around an entirely new school and one that was twice the size of her old school but she has settled in nicely and seems to be making friends and enjoying cross country with new teammates.  Abby was the one we were worried about after her year last year but she ended up in classes with friends this year and has lunch with one of her very best friends and she could not be happier.  Maddie, my go-with-the-flow child, seems to be doing just fine in 4th grade with her new teacher.

Here to another wonderful school year, 2012-2013

 Maddie, 4th grade.  Refused to dress up.  She wanted to be sporty.

 Destiny, 9th grade.  This is her "I'm terrified" look. 

 Abby, 7th grade.  My little fashion maven.

Abby and her friends from the neighborhood

Happy 12th Birthday

Dearest Abby,
You are 12 today and like I say every year,"Where did the time go?" Seriously though, where did the time go.  For your first birthday, your Daddy and I took the afternoon off from work in Albuquerque and took you for your first birthday pictures.  They remain among my favorite pictures of you in your sweet red Tommy dress, in your pretty white one with the flowers and then your naked self dripping in pearls.  If I could have only kept you little.....

It has been a pleasure to watch you grow though.  Every new experience that you have is something that I get to enjoy with you and I love that.  I love how you bound through life and how difficulties don't slow you down.

This year was a hard one.  It was your first year in middle school and so many days my heart ached for you as you said over and over again, "I hate school."  Not having your friends with you for lunch and for classes and then feeling like you were being picked on was so hard.  I wanted to scoop you up and bring you home or go after the mean kids but I couldn't.  All I could do was rub your back, pray and reassure you that you were loved here at home.  We made it through.

Fall brought middle school cheerleading and if middle school was rough, middle school cheerleading was even rougher.  It was your first experience with mean girls.  I am so proud of you though for not letting them get you down, for sticking the season out and for working so hard.  For your efforts you got two first place trophies!! The smile on your face was worth it all (although the orthopedic bill from the separated shoulder because your fly couldn't quite get it down was a bit expensive).

Winter brought Color Guard and "Oh My!"  While we loved the concept, we were not fond of the practices, the coach and the team mom.  I don't think we  will be forgetting the Pink Robots very soon.

Boys entered the picture a bit more this past year.  Fifth grade at Lewis was spent liking one sweet boy Liam but sixth grade was a revolving door of boys you liked and then didn't like.  We did a group fun night with two of the boys from your class and watched Hunter spend all of his money trying to win you something and then you walking over to the claw Machine and trying twice and winning a stuffed animal almost as big as you.  Talk about hurting a boys ego.

I have watched you grow and mature this year and I am so proud of you.  You have volunteered for nursery in church and I have watched your relationship with God grow.  I hope that you will always stay close to Him and know that He is your everything.

I am trying not feel sad as I am watching my little girl grow up and while there still is that small part of you that is a little girl,  I know it won't be long until I can't see her anymore.

I love you so much Tink!   You were my first and you made me a Mama.

Love,

Mama

The Faces of My Girl Over the Years

Happy 9th Birthday Maddie

Dear Maddie,
Happy Birthday Sweetheart!  You are 9 years old today.  9 years ago today Daddy and I went to the hospital and 2 hours later, you were in our arms.  The most precious gift from God.  Such a tiny, sweet little face.  Time has flown by so quickly.  I know that you are growing up but I will always see you as my little girl.  This year has been a big one for you.  I feel like you have made the transition from little girl to big girl.  

Physically you are changing so much.  You have gotten so tall and so thin.  In fact, I am always telling you to eat.  You got your braces and expander in and you really don't enjoy eating much.  It's a struggle to find things that you like and that you will eat enough of.  I wish that you liked milk but you tell me all the time how much you "hate" it.

You started third grade in the fall and ended up with the most fantastic teacher, Ms. Hunter.  She did the right amount of supporting you, while pushing you to accomplish all the things that she knew you could.  You were sad that you didn't make Target but at the same time Mama was relieved because she knew how much you hate homework and there is so much extra homework in Target.  I spent quite a bit of time explaining that God gives each of us different gifts and that while you had good grades, you also were a phenomenal athlete.

Speaking of athletics.... You dominated in two sports this year, basketball and soccer.  I stand in awe every time I watch you play.  You obviously didn't inherit your athletic talents from me.   Maybe from your Daddy!  You were asked to join the Academy Soccer program at the YMCA.  While the 1/2 season with them was less than fabulous and your coach scared you, you still went out there every week and gave it your all.  I think we were all relieved when you stopped playing for the YMCA.  We moved you to the North Atlanta Soccer Association (NASA) in the Spring and you played rec for one season with your daddy coaching you.  I was proud to watch you lead on the field and to help your newer teammates.  You tried out for and were accepted to the NASA Academy on your first night of tryouts.  What an accomplishment!!!  We are so excited for this new season and for all the wonderful things that you will do under Coach Ward.

You also excelled in Basketball.  This waas the first year that you played for the Allatoona Bucs program and you had a great time with your daddy being your assistant coach.  You played such a good game that the high school coach inquired about you!  Your team placed second in the playoff game and you gave them a run for their money.  What a great season!!!

You were baptized this year and that made me the proudest.  You came to the decision on your own and asked us if you could be baptized.  You chose Pastor Craig to baptize you but you wanted Daddy and I in the water with you.   The verse that I felt was chosen for you was Jeremiah 1:9-Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  My prayer for you is that you always follow Him, that you not be swayed by the world or popularity but that you always stand for Him.  

You had so many great friends this year and really spent quite a bit of time with them.  Your best friends were in your class, Jordan and Ella but you also were good friends with Sophie and Rylee.  Mama was also happy that your friendship with Kyla continues.  She is one of the oldest friends that you have to hang out with.  You are also friends with a fair amount of boys and get mad when I tease you about them.  Mama loves Ryan but you always say, "Mama, he is my friend!"  Makaii called you quite a few times this summer and your friend Cade.   Part of me is very happy that you just like boys as friends right now.

We have had some memorable vacations this year, staying on a Houseboat in Philadelphia Harbor and getting a ride from the Police back from South Street to the boat and going to NYC and visiting the site of the Twin Towers.  We also returned to Blue Mtn.  for the 4th year in a row and you had a great time playing with your friend Anna all week.

This was a rough year with you and your sisters, especially Abby.  You seem to resent that she is the bigger sister and I spend quite a bit of time telling you to be sweet to her.   I am encouraged though that you can still cuddle up at night in her bed and giggle and love on each other so I know that there is hope for the two of you.

Watching you grow this year has been bittersweet.  I love to see you learn and try new things but I also hate that you are growing so quick.  I am so proud of you sweetheart.  Daddy and I love you so much.

Love,
Mama

 Newborn Maddie

1st Birthday (House Party, Ohio, Ladybug Theme)

 2nd Birthday (Bounce U, Ohio)

 3rd Birthday (House Party, Georgia)

 4 years old 

 5 years old

 6th Birthday (Blue Mtn. Christian Retreat, Pennsylvania)

 7th Birthday (HersheyPark, Pennsylvania)

 Eight Birthday, (Pool Party, Georgia)

My 9 year old beauty

Always be my baby

It's funny because I have always seen Abby as so grown up. When she was a year old I remember thinking, she isn't my baby anymore.  

Maddie was different.  Maybe because she is my last, I see her still as a baby.  I am always shocked when I see her standing next to our friend's children and she towers over them because she is "the baby" always in my mind.

The last few weeks though have really shown me how much she has grown up.  The first happened when we were on vacation and she saw a cute little red haired boy in the grocery store and paid attention to him.  That's the first time that has ever happened.  

She is now my social butterfly.  She has been gone 5 out of the last 7 nights to three different friend's houses and parties.  My phone rings now and it's her friends that are calling her.  "Can I speak to Maddie?"

Not sure where the baby went and who the beautiful young lady is in her place and I am not so sure that I like it either.  

But she will always be my baby!

     Eight months old 2004

Eight years old 2012

My Junior

Maddie has had a wonderful three years in Girl Scouts.  In large part due to the fantastic troop leaders that she has.  I know that many of her wonderful memories of elementary school will be of these girls who have played such a big part in her many adventures.

Last night she bridged up to Juniors with her friends.  It seems like yesterday that she was a tiny Daisy, then a Brownie and now she has earned her green Junior sash.  I know that many awesome adventures await her in the next few years.

 My baby Daisy in 2010

 Singing her Brownie fly-away song.  Last moment as a Brownie

 Ms Jennifer putting on her Junior Sash

 Ms Donna pinning on her Girl Scout pin

                                       

 "On my honor, I will try to serve God, my country, and to live by the Girl Scout law."

My sweet girl and friend