Sad

I am sad tonight.   Sad because I realize how much my little girls are growing up and becoming big girls.   It seems like just yesterday that Bud and I were the parents of small children, now we are the parents of school age children.   Somedays I just want to stop the world and savor them a little bit longer.   

For my birthday my stepmother sent me an album filled with pictures of my dad and I and my dad with various members of our family.  It was such a sweet present.   I turned one page and the picture literally took my breath away.  It was my dad sitting on a chair in his swim trunks and t-shirt holding Abby in her sweet little swimsuit drinking a bottle.   In a heartbeat, I was there in that moment.  Feeling the warm Florida sunshine and laughing with my family and watching my dad hold my daughter and feeling such joy.   In the next instant, I heard her voice call "Mama" and turned to see her eight year old sassy self come swinging around the corner and I realized that my dad wasn't here to see the young lady that she is becoming.   And that was such a sad, sad feeling.   

Abby and Grandpa in 2005

Tonight we went rollerskating and when we got home it was the usual dash to get everything done.   I got the kids in bed and hurried to make lunches and sweep the kitchen floor and do a load of laundry and........ the list goes on and one.  Abby called me once and then again and I went in there and was so impatient with her that she disturbed me while I was trying to finish something and and she said oh so sweetly, "I'm sorry Mama, go back and do whatever you have to do."  I realized at that moment that nothing was sweeter than snuggling with my little girl and that all too soon she will be grown and leaving me and I need to savor every moment.   

Abby in 2001