Thanksgiving Memories

We took our 2nd annual Thanksgiving trip to Gatlinburg this year with our friend Heather and her girls. We had such a good time getting together last year and staying in a cabin that we decided to do it again.

I love being up in the mountains. It is such a relaxed time for all of us. No schedules, no pressure, no responsibility for cooking (Heather's way better than me and covers that department while we are up there), no rush to go after-Thanksgiving shopping. Instead it is lots of catching up, laughter, good food (that Heather cooks:), the girls playing with their friends, Bud getting to watch football uninterrupted and just plain relaxation.

Our gorgeous cabin for the weekend

Our living room, dining room area

The few from our back deck

The lower gazebo deck

The hot tub that Heather and I finally kicked the kids out of so we could get a few minutes of peace and quiet

Bud thought he had died and gone to heaven with this projection screen t.v. He would have slept down there if I would have let him.

The kids absolutely love this million pound (not really but I have no idea how much it weighs) piece of granite in front of the Ripley's museum that spins on a small amount of water. They could spend hours spinning it and getting soaked.

My three gifts all wrapped up under the Christmas tree display.

All five girls together. They are getting so big. Weren't we just celebrating Mack's and Abby's 2nd birthday last year?

David Tallent's illusion show. He is pulling half dollars out of Mack's ears.

Best friends since age 2. Such different personalities they are.

Trying to get a picture under the giant Christmas tree.

The girls got "hillbilly" teeth and Maddie wore hers all weekend, everywhere we went.

Maddie and Sydney. Maddie is a year younger and a foot taller. They are both short here because they are on their knees. Funny kids!

The two youngest in front of the lit Christmas tree

Sisters and friends

It is easy to get wrapped up in what we don't have or what's wrong with our lives. The truth is that we are incredibly blessed and grateful for everything. This trip allows us to step back from the busyness and realize just how much we have to be thankful for.

Grief

is a funny thing. It can come out of nowhere when you are having an otherwise good day and blindside you. It is triggered by a word, a conversation, an action.

Our medical assistant in the clinic offered me half a piece of gum the other day and that action nearly brought me to tears. My dad never chewed a whole piece of gum-ever. He would rip each piece in half and sometimes even quarters and chew it. He hated giving me a whole piece of gum, to him that was a waste. My sense of loss is greatest when I pick up the phone and see the caller ID with his name but know that it isn't him on the other end.

Grief is tempered by time but it doesn't ever really go away. Some days it is less and other days more. Some days I can distinctly recall every moment in agonizing detail of my mother-in-law's last evening. I suppose I will always feels some sense of responsibility, maybe if I had done something differently she would be here with us. Rationally I know better but ration doesn't always prevail. My sense of loss for my mother-in-law is greatest when I watch the girls at their activities and I know how much she would have enjoyed being there cheering (okay screaming) for them.

Finally, I think of the friends I have lost. It doesn't seem right to write that I have lost friends because they were far too young. Scott was my friend. Also my first "real" boyfriend, the one I served detention with for kissing him in our Christian school hallway. We remained good friends following graduation and forever he will hold a special place in my heart. The last conversation I had with him before he passed away was when he was visiting in Pennsylvania from South Carolina. We hung out for the day with a bunch of friends and that evening as I went to say goodbye to him he hugged me and said, "You know I love you, don't you?" I told him that I loved him too. I will always be grateful that I had that conversation with him. Losing him was unexpected and it was that moment when a young person (me) realized for the first time that they were not invincible. I have thought of him so often over the years, wondered what he would be like now. Would he be married, have kids? The one thing I have always carried with me since then is to cherish your friends. Love them, enjoy them and never let an opportunity to pass to tell them how much they mean to you.

Heather was my irreverent friend from ninth and tenth grade. She would laugh at things that no one else found funny. She delighted in making me blush. She saved me from being too serious. She died a few months ago of undiagnosed MS to the brain. Her precious daughter, Molly is a year older than Abigail and I can remember just how Heather looked with Molly perched on her hip nine years ago. She delighted in being a mom and a wife. Several times I have sat down to write Molly and her brother, Ian, a letter about their mom since they will never know what she was like during those high school years. So far each attempt has caused more tears than writing and so it is not yet finished.

Trisha was a nursing instructor with me in Ohio. We became close friends when we were clinical instructors for senior nursing students. We ate lunch together every Thursday and Friday and became fast friends. She amazed me with her knowledge of the heart. She had literally put herself through school while working full-time. She got her RN first, then her BSN and finally her NP. After we left Ohio, we kept in touch and she came to see us the summer after we moved to Atlanta. We had a great time visiting Olympic Park and the CNN center and just talking and laughing. Less than a year later and two months after she finished getting her NP, she was killed in a car accident with her six year old niece, Abbey. I still keep her emails in my inbox to read because they were always so positive and encouraging.

As painful as my losses have been and as never ending as the grief has seemed at times, I would never have wanted to not know them, to not have them be a part of my life. What is the saying?, "it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all."

In Memory of

My best friend from my early high school years died on Wednesday suddenly. She was sick and went to the ER and never came home again. She left a husband, small children, parents, brothers and sisters, and friends who loved her and cared about her.

Thank you Heather for always being such a wonderful friend and making me laugh like no one else could. I will always treasure the memories I have you. Rest in peace my sweet friend and one day we will laugh together again.

Heather C. Laros, 37, of Allentown, died Wednesday, April 22, 2009, at Lehigh Valley Hospital, Salisbury Twp. She was the wife of Thomas Scott Laros to whom she was married 9 years. Born in Baltimore, Md., she was the daughter of Patrick Harrington of New Tripoli and Jacalyn (Brownson) Taylor of Abbington, Md. and the stepdaughter of Lola Harrington. She was a member of Trinity Wesleyan Church, Allentown. Heather was a devoted wife and mother who enjoyed life and was an avid gardner and artist. She will be truly missed by all.SURVIVORS: Husband, Thomas; son, Ian Thomas and daughter, Molly Kathryn, both at home; stepchildren, Stephen, Erin and Jamie, all of Ocoee, Fla.; Harrington brothers and sisters, Patrick Jr., Adam, Amanda, Ashley, Mia, Alana, Lydia and Hallie and Rachel Tapper; Taylor brothers, Ryan, Colin and Sean; paternal grandparents, Charles and Eula Harrington and Maternal grandfather Jack Brownson, faithful companion Shelby. She was predeceased by a stepdaughter, Stephanie Laros.SERVICES: 2 p.m., Monday, April 27, 2009, at Trinity Wesleyan Church, 6735 Cetronia Rd., Allentown. Calling Noon to 2 p.m. at church.